I can't sleep right now. My throat hurts to bad that I can't really think about anything else.
I just need to write something, even if it is disjointed and makes no difference. It makes me feel human, I guess.
I'm thinking a lot about my future and how I seem to be moving away from all of the creative parts of my personality toward the mundane. I hate the idea that I could go through life without ever producing something truly remarkable, but I've set myself up for that very struggle. It's not too late, but man I've made it a lot harder.
I grew up in a town that seems to cling to inspiration and creativity as the ultimate purpose of humanity. I was taught that being innovative is more important than being popular, and this lesson became a part of me.
In the movie "Almost Famous," the character Lester Bangs refers to life as our "long journey to the middle." I thought a lot about this idea today as I wallowed in my sickness and watched old episodes of South Park online, and I will make it the working thesis for this entry.
I am having radical thoughts about my life right now. I am weighing options such as dropping out of school, joining the Peace Corps, learning to be a creative writer, joining a band, becoming part of an underground political movement, moving to Europe for good, and so on. I think apathy is what keeps me from doing these things more than logistics, along with a sense of duty to my parents and other people who have invested a good amount of energy into my current situation. As much as I hate being told I'm part of a group and that my dilemmas aren't unique, I know that there are lots of other students my age that are weighing these and other radical options with varying degrees of excitement.
The central theme of these thoughts is really nothing more than finding a way to stand on the rooftops of the world and sound off a cry: "I AM ME. I AM NOT CERTAIN OF WHO I AM, BUT I AM CERTAIN THAT I AM NOT YOU AND I AM NOT WHO YOU THINK I AM."
I just don't know what I want to be. It's eating at me every day and I can't figure it out. I am unremarkable and generally disinterested in all of my current options. Something needs to change soon.
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Rain, Suckaz
UMMMM it's raining. I'm in the library again, but this time I'm soaked to the skin. I got caught in the deluge between my 8AM and 10:15 class. Sweet.
My dad sent me an email the other day with this John Adams quote in it:
I've had a really good week. I'm so proud of Acappology and our performance at Unity and I think Amy and I have a rock-solid plan for getting ready for our concert on November 17. There is a lot to be done but now that I've seen what our group can do when we're focused I'm really looking forward to it.
If you get a chance, pick up this week's copy of the Independent. It has an article in it about the end of the newspaper as a medium. It is interesting to say the least that the citizen journalist (blogger) is on the verge of usurping the attention of the masses. My favorite part of the article is the graphic on the fourth page that shows a cloud of blogs floating around (but not quite capturing) the truth. The idea that the internet is giving us the means to subscribe only to the opinions that we agree with is scary in its inevitability. The article comes across as somewhat left-leaning (in the INDY??? Say it ain't so!), blaming Rupert Murdoch and Fox News for the downfall of television news and predicting the inevitable downfall of The Wall Street Journal now that Murdoch is running it. I can't say I entirely disagree, but I do think that it's out of bounds to say that Fox News is the only sensationalist station on the air. I can't bear to watch CNN anymore because they are so much more focused on entertaining with shock and fluff than they are in actually reporting the pertinent news. Maybe if I ignore television news it will go away.
It is bloody freezing in here. I'm not drying fast enough.
My World Series predictions: if the Red Sox win two in Boston, they'll win the series. In fact, the only scenario in which I can see the Rockies coming out on top is if they win both games in Boston. At that point I think the momentum shifts significantly to Colorado when the Red Sox have no choice but to put their b-list pitchers on the mound for Games 3 and 4.
So, I'll say Boston in 6 games.
.....WAIT did I just predict that Boston would win the WS? FUCK that. Colorado in 5 games. That's my final answer, Regis.
A personal note to Travis Smith:
I don't know if you read my blog, but I miss you buddy. I hope you're doing well in Ireland and I can't tell you how jealous I am that you saw the Arcade Fire. Come back soon, we have a lot to talk about.
I guess that's all. I still have a long time until my 10:15 class.
My dad sent me an email the other day with this John Adams quote in it:
- We think ourselves possessed, or, at least, we boast that we are so, of liberty of conscience on all subjects, and of the right of free inquiry and private judgment in all cases, and yet how far are we from these exalted privileges in fact! There exists, I believe, throughout the whole Christian world, a law which makes it blasphemy to deny or doubt the divine inspiration of all the books of the Old and New Testaments, from Genesis to Revelations. In most countries of Europe it is punished by fire at the stake, or the rack, or the wheel. In England itself it is punished by boring through the tongue with a poker. In America it is not better; even in our own Massachusetts, which I believe, upon the whole, is as temperate and moderate in religious zeal as most of the States, a law was made in the latter end of the last century, repealing the cruel punishments of the former laws, but substituting fine and imprisonment upon all those blasphemers upon any book of the Old Testament or New. Now, what free inquiry, when a writer must surely encounter the risk of fine or imprisonment for adducing any argument for investigating into the divine authority of those books? Who would run the risk of translating Dupuis? But I cannot enlarge upon this subject, though I have it much at heart. I think such laws a great embarrassment, great obstructions to the improvement of the human mind. Books that cannot bear examination, certainly ought not to be established as divine inspiration by penal laws. It is true, few persons appear desirous to put such laws in execution, and it is also true that some few persons are hardy enough to venture to depart from them. But as long as they continue in force as laws, the human mind must make an awkward and clumsy progress in its investigations. I wish they were repealed. The substance and essence of Christianity, as I understand it, is eternal and unchangeable, and will bear examination forever, but it has been mixed with extraneous ingredients, which I think will not bear examination, and they ought to be separated.
- Letter to Thomas Jefferson (1825-01-23), published in Letters: The Complete Correspondence Between Thomas Jefferson and Abigail and John Adams (UNC Press, 1988), p. 607.
I've had a really good week. I'm so proud of Acappology and our performance at Unity and I think Amy and I have a rock-solid plan for getting ready for our concert on November 17. There is a lot to be done but now that I've seen what our group can do when we're focused I'm really looking forward to it.
If you get a chance, pick up this week's copy of the Independent. It has an article in it about the end of the newspaper as a medium. It is interesting to say the least that the citizen journalist (blogger) is on the verge of usurping the attention of the masses. My favorite part of the article is the graphic on the fourth page that shows a cloud of blogs floating around (but not quite capturing) the truth. The idea that the internet is giving us the means to subscribe only to the opinions that we agree with is scary in its inevitability. The article comes across as somewhat left-leaning (in the INDY??? Say it ain't so!), blaming Rupert Murdoch and Fox News for the downfall of television news and predicting the inevitable downfall of The Wall Street Journal now that Murdoch is running it. I can't say I entirely disagree, but I do think that it's out of bounds to say that Fox News is the only sensationalist station on the air. I can't bear to watch CNN anymore because they are so much more focused on entertaining with shock and fluff than they are in actually reporting the pertinent news. Maybe if I ignore television news it will go away.
It is bloody freezing in here. I'm not drying fast enough.
My World Series predictions: if the Red Sox win two in Boston, they'll win the series. In fact, the only scenario in which I can see the Rockies coming out on top is if they win both games in Boston. At that point I think the momentum shifts significantly to Colorado when the Red Sox have no choice but to put their b-list pitchers on the mound for Games 3 and 4.
So, I'll say Boston in 6 games.
.....WAIT did I just predict that Boston would win the WS? FUCK that. Colorado in 5 games. That's my final answer, Regis.
A personal note to Travis Smith:
I don't know if you read my blog, but I miss you buddy. I hope you're doing well in Ireland and I can't tell you how jealous I am that you saw the Arcade Fire. Come back soon, we have a lot to talk about.
I guess that's all. I still have a long time until my 10:15 class.
Monday, October 22, 2007
Monday Morning
I'm sitting in the library between classes again and I think I am more awake than I've felt in a while. I slept hard last night after studying the Oedipus Cycle for an hour after rehearsal. My English 220 class is the most silent and unresponsive class I've ever been a part of. When the professor poses a question I often feel bad answering it because it is clear that some of the students are trying to sleep. I would rather it just be me and the two or three other people who care sitting in the corner with the professor while the other people sleep off their hangovers. Perhaps I'll pose this solution.
Basically, when it comes to English, I'm the shit.
Aaaand when it comes to having three BANGIN new arrangements done in time to melt some faces at the annual Unity Concert (Tonight, Monday, October 22, 7:00PM in Stewart Theatre), Acappology is the shit.
I know what you're all wondering. I can hear the question on the wind, "Sean, what do you think of Joe Torre's decision to leave the Yankees." Well, friends, it upsets me, but from Joe's perspective I can't say I disagree. The Yankees are making a big mistake not taking Joe back for another year. I have already made my reasons for this clear to a point in my last entry, but perhaps now I can lay out exactly how ridiculous the logic of this is. I promise to be brief (but I'm also a filthy liar).
Joe Torre managed the Yankees for 12 seasons. He reached the World Series 6 times. He won the World Series 4 times. He reached the postseason 12 times. That alone should be enough to get him whatever he wants in a contract. Joe Torre should have been able to leave on his own terms and go straight into retirement. Regardless of Joe's feelings and his boggling managerial success, however, there are factors here that make the Yankees' lackadaisical attempt at rehiring him more of a tragedy. Free agents Jorge Posada and Mariano Rivera both said that they would likely leave the team if Joe Torre wasn't rehired. Let's think about this. In Jorge Posada you've got one of the most consistent defensive catchers in the league who, by the way, had the best offensive year of his career this season. In Mariano Rivera you have an absolute first-ballot Hall-of-Famer who still has three or four solid seasons in him. When these two players stated their position on the issue of Torre being rehired, that should have been all that the Steinbrenner family needed to keep Torre on. Instead, like Bernie Williams before them, Posada and Rivera are being told indirectly that they aren't worth the effort. That is disrespectful, and it makes me ashamed of my team. Jorge Posada, Mariano Rivera, Joe Torre...these are Yankees you should be building monuments to.
Another aspect of the debate is that Alex Rodriguez now has a reason to say "I want out." Even if he was already planning to opt out of his contract and pursue unprecedented riches from some other team, he can now say that he doesn't want to sign with a team that hasn't hired a manager. It's giving him an excuse to leave.
The solution: hire Joe Girardi. He was Posada's mentor when he was still a player, so Posada would play for him and he was Rivera's catcher in 1995 and '96 when he was just beginning to find his role as a short reliever. Oh yeah, and he also brought the Florida Marlins out of their role as the doormat of the NL East two years ago, making a collection of young individuals into a solid team in playoff contention. I think Girardi is the best candidate.
Bottom Line: Next year is the Yankees' last year in Yankee Stadium before they move next door into the new temple that George Steinbrenner and Co. have built for them. It is absolutely disgusting that Joe Torre will not be given the option of ushering in that new era of Yankee baseball. It is the same logic that got Yogi Berra fired in 1964 after losing the seventh game of the World Series, and it's the same logic that made Don Zimmer leave his role as Torre's first mate several years ago. It's the Steinbrenner code of conduct that makes the Yankees the most hated franchise in baseball, and it's sad that Yankee fans have to cling to the good to keep from being consumed by the bad.
Not brief. I care a lot about my Yankees.
Fuck the Red Sox. It's not fair for them to have the Patriots and the Red Sox. At least my NY Giants are winning.
Basically, when it comes to English, I'm the shit.
Aaaand when it comes to having three BANGIN new arrangements done in time to melt some faces at the annual Unity Concert (Tonight, Monday, October 22, 7:00PM in Stewart Theatre), Acappology is the shit.
I know what you're all wondering. I can hear the question on the wind, "Sean, what do you think of Joe Torre's decision to leave the Yankees." Well, friends, it upsets me, but from Joe's perspective I can't say I disagree. The Yankees are making a big mistake not taking Joe back for another year. I have already made my reasons for this clear to a point in my last entry, but perhaps now I can lay out exactly how ridiculous the logic of this is. I promise to be brief (but I'm also a filthy liar).
Joe Torre managed the Yankees for 12 seasons. He reached the World Series 6 times. He won the World Series 4 times. He reached the postseason 12 times. That alone should be enough to get him whatever he wants in a contract. Joe Torre should have been able to leave on his own terms and go straight into retirement. Regardless of Joe's feelings and his boggling managerial success, however, there are factors here that make the Yankees' lackadaisical attempt at rehiring him more of a tragedy. Free agents Jorge Posada and Mariano Rivera both said that they would likely leave the team if Joe Torre wasn't rehired. Let's think about this. In Jorge Posada you've got one of the most consistent defensive catchers in the league who, by the way, had the best offensive year of his career this season. In Mariano Rivera you have an absolute first-ballot Hall-of-Famer who still has three or four solid seasons in him. When these two players stated their position on the issue of Torre being rehired, that should have been all that the Steinbrenner family needed to keep Torre on. Instead, like Bernie Williams before them, Posada and Rivera are being told indirectly that they aren't worth the effort. That is disrespectful, and it makes me ashamed of my team. Jorge Posada, Mariano Rivera, Joe Torre...these are Yankees you should be building monuments to.
Another aspect of the debate is that Alex Rodriguez now has a reason to say "I want out." Even if he was already planning to opt out of his contract and pursue unprecedented riches from some other team, he can now say that he doesn't want to sign with a team that hasn't hired a manager. It's giving him an excuse to leave.
The solution: hire Joe Girardi. He was Posada's mentor when he was still a player, so Posada would play for him and he was Rivera's catcher in 1995 and '96 when he was just beginning to find his role as a short reliever. Oh yeah, and he also brought the Florida Marlins out of their role as the doormat of the NL East two years ago, making a collection of young individuals into a solid team in playoff contention. I think Girardi is the best candidate.
Bottom Line: Next year is the Yankees' last year in Yankee Stadium before they move next door into the new temple that George Steinbrenner and Co. have built for them. It is absolutely disgusting that Joe Torre will not be given the option of ushering in that new era of Yankee baseball. It is the same logic that got Yogi Berra fired in 1964 after losing the seventh game of the World Series, and it's the same logic that made Don Zimmer leave his role as Torre's first mate several years ago. It's the Steinbrenner code of conduct that makes the Yankees the most hated franchise in baseball, and it's sad that Yankee fans have to cling to the good to keep from being consumed by the bad.
Not brief. I care a lot about my Yankees.
Fuck the Red Sox. It's not fair for them to have the Patriots and the Red Sox. At least my NY Giants are winning.
Monday, October 8, 2007
Missing My Yankees
I'm not a perfect baseball fan. A perfect baseball fan never leaves their seat early, whether that seat is in a stadium or in their house. A perfect baseball fan watches games until the very last play. I am not perfect. However, I am a true baseball fan. And on nights like these, my true colors come out.
Tonight the Yankees played Game 4 of a series against the Cleveland Indians. They haven't lost yet as I'm writing this, but they just look awful. It has me reminiscing instead of watching.
There was a time when I was closer to a perfect fan. In 1996, I watched the New York Yankees win the World Series after losing the first two games at home against the defending champion Atlanta Braves. I watched in utter contempt as Andruw Jones became the youngest player ever to hit a home run in a World Series. I watched the Braves manhandle the Yankees, Yankees who I had just begun to call my Yankees. Then I watched my Yankees claw back in Atlanta, beating the team that every kid around me in school pulled for on their home field, including Jim Leyritz's home run in game 5 that may have been the best moment of my young baseball life.
That series was pure victory. That was a team with no superstars. The final ball wasn't caught by $250 million Alex Rodriguez, but Charlie Hayes. The final pitch wasn't thrown by $4 million per month Roger Clemens but by John Wetteland. The catcher that jumped into his arms wasn't Yogi Berra but Joe Girardi. This is the stuff that championships are made of. Those were my Yankees.
Several of my Yankees are still around. Jorge Posada is my Yankee. Mariano Rivera is my Yankee. Derek Jeter is every Yankee fan's Yankee. He represents not only the skill and talent of my Yankees but the class and poise as well. Two of the moments when I felt proudest to be a Yankee fan involved Derek Jeter's. The first was during the regular season last year in a June classic against Boston when he ran down a ball in foul territory from forty yards away and went crashing head-first into the stands. My Yankees lay out to get their catches. My Yankees bleed when necessary.
My second moment however, happened off the field. This past June, when the Yankees were 12 games behind Boston in the A.L. East and it looked as if Derek Jeter was destined to spend his first October in the big leagues sitting at home, a reporter asked him in an interview, "What are you going to do? What's the solution?" He looked upset at the question. He looked frustrated. His answer was forceful and clear, "We're going to keep playing. What do you expect us to do? Do you expect us to pack it up and forfeit the rest of the season? We're going to keep on fighting every single game." That is class. Some players point fingers, some OWNERS point fingers, but Derek Jeter makes a promise he can keep. Derek Jeter was a Yankee from the moment he swung a bat. Derek Jeter is a true champion. Derek Jeter is one of my Yankees.
And guess what, folks: Joe Torre is my skipper. You can say what you want to say about the Yankees, but Joe Torre is untouchable. He has defined success in a city that will cut you down if you're not successful. He not only won 4 championships with the Yankees and has NEVER MISSED THE POSTSEASON AS A MANAGER, but he also taught some of the raw talent on the Yankees how to handle the New York press; what it means to wear pinstripes.
The '96 team. The '98 team. The '99 team. The teams that won because players like Tino Martinez became unstoppable in the postseason. The teams that would get two men on in the bottom of the 8th and leave their fates in the hands of Paul O'Neil, their sinewy and self-critical right fielder who would ALWAYS come through in the clutch. Those teams were my Yankees.
The 2007 Yankees are just...the Yankees. They are what everyone accuses them of being: bought, passionless, distracted and rich. They are not my Yankees, they are truly George Steinbrenner's Yankees. Each of these players are working for a boss who is completely inept as to the true needs of his team, but is so desperate to lay the blame elsewhere that he would fire one of the truest champions currently in pinstripes. He would fire Joe Torre despite the fact that the Yankee manager led his team to the postseason for the 11th STRAIGHT YEAR by leapfrogging 10 separate teams to win the Wild Card.
Why can't the Yankees win? The answers are easy to come by. They have no bullpen. They have an inconsistent starting rotation. They have a player who is worth more money than some franchises that is simply unable to hit after September 30th. What the Yankees truly lack, however, and what distinguishes them from my Yankees is that they have no passion. Passion wins championships.
My father tells the story of a pair of UNC football fans that had been sitting in front of us for 5 years at the Carolina football games. At one point in a particularly futile game against Furman, the old man stood up slowly with his alumni association sweater and an almost sarcastic "Beat Furman" pin, beckoned to his white-haired wife with a Carolina blue bow in her hair and declared to the crowd "Well, we don't usually give up on them...but they have...so we will." They never came back. A true fan can sense when their team is deflated. The air feels heavy even if the team is hundreds of miles away. The anger wells inside you as your team taps lazy fly balls into the outfield. A true fan can feel it when their team is no longer playing the game.
I haven't ever truly understood that feeling until tonight. I am not ready to pack up my Yankee gear. It's too big a part of who I am, and I would feel incomplete without it. However, I am beginning to wonder if the Yankees will ever again truly be my Yankees.
Tonight the Yankees played Game 4 of a series against the Cleveland Indians. They haven't lost yet as I'm writing this, but they just look awful. It has me reminiscing instead of watching.
There was a time when I was closer to a perfect fan. In 1996, I watched the New York Yankees win the World Series after losing the first two games at home against the defending champion Atlanta Braves. I watched in utter contempt as Andruw Jones became the youngest player ever to hit a home run in a World Series. I watched the Braves manhandle the Yankees, Yankees who I had just begun to call my Yankees. Then I watched my Yankees claw back in Atlanta, beating the team that every kid around me in school pulled for on their home field, including Jim Leyritz's home run in game 5 that may have been the best moment of my young baseball life.
That series was pure victory. That was a team with no superstars. The final ball wasn't caught by $250 million Alex Rodriguez, but Charlie Hayes. The final pitch wasn't thrown by $4 million per month Roger Clemens but by John Wetteland. The catcher that jumped into his arms wasn't Yogi Berra but Joe Girardi. This is the stuff that championships are made of. Those were my Yankees.
Several of my Yankees are still around. Jorge Posada is my Yankee. Mariano Rivera is my Yankee. Derek Jeter is every Yankee fan's Yankee. He represents not only the skill and talent of my Yankees but the class and poise as well. Two of the moments when I felt proudest to be a Yankee fan involved Derek Jeter's. The first was during the regular season last year in a June classic against Boston when he ran down a ball in foul territory from forty yards away and went crashing head-first into the stands. My Yankees lay out to get their catches. My Yankees bleed when necessary.
My second moment however, happened off the field. This past June, when the Yankees were 12 games behind Boston in the A.L. East and it looked as if Derek Jeter was destined to spend his first October in the big leagues sitting at home, a reporter asked him in an interview, "What are you going to do? What's the solution?" He looked upset at the question. He looked frustrated. His answer was forceful and clear, "We're going to keep playing. What do you expect us to do? Do you expect us to pack it up and forfeit the rest of the season? We're going to keep on fighting every single game." That is class. Some players point fingers, some OWNERS point fingers, but Derek Jeter makes a promise he can keep. Derek Jeter was a Yankee from the moment he swung a bat. Derek Jeter is a true champion. Derek Jeter is one of my Yankees.
And guess what, folks: Joe Torre is my skipper. You can say what you want to say about the Yankees, but Joe Torre is untouchable. He has defined success in a city that will cut you down if you're not successful. He not only won 4 championships with the Yankees and has NEVER MISSED THE POSTSEASON AS A MANAGER, but he also taught some of the raw talent on the Yankees how to handle the New York press; what it means to wear pinstripes.
The '96 team. The '98 team. The '99 team. The teams that won because players like Tino Martinez became unstoppable in the postseason. The teams that would get two men on in the bottom of the 8th and leave their fates in the hands of Paul O'Neil, their sinewy and self-critical right fielder who would ALWAYS come through in the clutch. Those teams were my Yankees.
The 2007 Yankees are just...the Yankees. They are what everyone accuses them of being: bought, passionless, distracted and rich. They are not my Yankees, they are truly George Steinbrenner's Yankees. Each of these players are working for a boss who is completely inept as to the true needs of his team, but is so desperate to lay the blame elsewhere that he would fire one of the truest champions currently in pinstripes. He would fire Joe Torre despite the fact that the Yankee manager led his team to the postseason for the 11th STRAIGHT YEAR by leapfrogging 10 separate teams to win the Wild Card.
Why can't the Yankees win? The answers are easy to come by. They have no bullpen. They have an inconsistent starting rotation. They have a player who is worth more money than some franchises that is simply unable to hit after September 30th. What the Yankees truly lack, however, and what distinguishes them from my Yankees is that they have no passion. Passion wins championships.
My father tells the story of a pair of UNC football fans that had been sitting in front of us for 5 years at the Carolina football games. At one point in a particularly futile game against Furman, the old man stood up slowly with his alumni association sweater and an almost sarcastic "Beat Furman" pin, beckoned to his white-haired wife with a Carolina blue bow in her hair and declared to the crowd "Well, we don't usually give up on them...but they have...so we will." They never came back. A true fan can sense when their team is deflated. The air feels heavy even if the team is hundreds of miles away. The anger wells inside you as your team taps lazy fly balls into the outfield. A true fan can feel it when their team is no longer playing the game.
I haven't ever truly understood that feeling until tonight. I am not ready to pack up my Yankee gear. It's too big a part of who I am, and I would feel incomplete without it. However, I am beginning to wonder if the Yankees will ever again truly be my Yankees.
Friday, October 5, 2007
Under his coat they say there are Wings
OK, let's talk about music.
Time to give Tom Waits a true listen.
I want to growl and still make music. That seems like fun. It's going to take me a long time to truly understand Tom, as I can tell already by listening to just the first two songs of Bone Machine. I'll get back to you.
October
It's supposed to be getting colder outside, and even though it isn't doing so yet, it's still time to bid goodbye to summer music for a while. This doesn't mean not listening to this music for 6 months, it just means that this music probably won't pop up in my head as good mood music in the middle of winter.
The Pixies
The Pixies were first recommended to me by my freshman-year suitemates while I was visiting them in their hometown of Wilmington, NC. I had heard of The Pixies and later discovered that I had heard a lot of their music already, but I didn't own an album. On Greg Anderson's recommendation I bought Surfer Rosa at the first record shop that we entered in downtown Wilmington. He said that it was a great album to listen to on the way to beach (and since he is from Wilmington I figured his opinion on this matter was trustworthy). Instead I listened to it on the way back from the beach, but the effect was the same. To say that I loved it right away would be useless because most of my first listening experience was spent realizing that I had heard most of it before. That being said, I loved it. Listening to Surfer Rosa is like listening to the distorted wet dream of every punk-ish group ever. Beautiful shouting, beautiful crashing. Overall, just beautiful noise. Not the way in which Yo La Tengo is beautiful noise, but an entirely different kind of organized loudness that you can turn way up and enjoy with the windows open on the highway. The songs sound like they are ten minutes old; as if the band waited for the moment when the song was ripe, snatched it off the vine and recorded it before it turned to mush. When I got back I mentioned the album to the person I consider to be my own personal music service, Will Halman. He said something along the lines of "Fuck yeah, The Pixies man!" After a moment of discussion I believe he said something along the lines of "You should listen to Doolittle. It's different, but just as satisfying if not more." He burned it for me and my summer long love affair with The Pixies was underway.
I'm listening to Tom while I'm writing all of this, and it's making me seasick.
The Flaming Lips
I can't seem to remember the exact moment when I was introduced to The Flaming Lips. If any of you would like to claim credit for introducing me to them, please feel free. Regardless, I know that there was a moment when Will Halman and Ben Sweezy and I were sitting around somewhere and they mentioned the Flaming Lips. I said I hadn't heard them and there was an outcry.
haha "Some say he once killed a man with a guitar string." nice Tom Waits.
What I do remember is that I listened to Yoshimi battles the Pink Robots before I listened to Soft Bulletin. I remember this because when I actually talked to Will and Ben about this they said that Soft Bulletin was a better album...but I couldn't see how it could get better than Yoshimi. The Flaming Lips seem to do a balancing act (probably unintentionally) between accessibility and inaccessibility. For example, if you turned on Yoshimi at a party, you probably wouldn't get through the first few tracks without someone saying, "What the hell is this?" Then there would be the inevitable request for you to "turn it down a little" during the second part of Yoshimi's battle (when bass becomes robot growling and treble becomes screaming dissonance). You probably wouldn't get as far as "Do You Realize?" This is unfortunate because "Do You Realize" is the most accessible song on the album and contains one of the moments when The Flaming Lips dive deep into your consciousness and start dancing around. "Instead of saying all of your goodbyes/ let them know you realize that life goes fast/ it's hard to make the good things last/ you realize the sun doesn't go down/ it's just an illusion caused by the world spinning 'round." KEY CHANGEEEE!!!! DOO YOUUU REALIIIIIIZE aaaaahhhhAAAHHHHHahhhhhh Fabulous. After hearing that I didn't believe that Soft Bulletin could be better. Buuuuuuut it is. In Will's words, it's a "boggling masterpiece." To a sound engineer (which I am not by any stretch), it is a stupendous adventure. To the civilian, it is dynamic, sweeping and luminous. There is a wild and twisting entrance of three-part harmony at the beginning of "Buggin'-(Remix)" that made me smile like a fool on the bus the first time I heard it.
..........
Tom is finished. I don't know all of what he's saying yet, so I can only really react on a gut level. Listening to this album I have a constant image of a bottle of hard liquor almost empty and discolored with tobacco backwash next to an ashtray full of wet cigarette butts. The lights are dim, not for atmosphere but because the darkness is less judgemental. The table is marked with aged scrawling from pocket knives and burns from the lighters of bored patrons waiting for Tom to growl them all into a stupor. Splendidly morose.
Time for class!
Time to give Tom Waits a true listen.
I want to growl and still make music. That seems like fun. It's going to take me a long time to truly understand Tom, as I can tell already by listening to just the first two songs of Bone Machine. I'll get back to you.
October
It's supposed to be getting colder outside, and even though it isn't doing so yet, it's still time to bid goodbye to summer music for a while. This doesn't mean not listening to this music for 6 months, it just means that this music probably won't pop up in my head as good mood music in the middle of winter.
The Pixies
The Pixies were first recommended to me by my freshman-year suitemates while I was visiting them in their hometown of Wilmington, NC. I had heard of The Pixies and later discovered that I had heard a lot of their music already, but I didn't own an album. On Greg Anderson's recommendation I bought Surfer Rosa at the first record shop that we entered in downtown Wilmington. He said that it was a great album to listen to on the way to beach (and since he is from Wilmington I figured his opinion on this matter was trustworthy). Instead I listened to it on the way back from the beach, but the effect was the same. To say that I loved it right away would be useless because most of my first listening experience was spent realizing that I had heard most of it before. That being said, I loved it. Listening to Surfer Rosa is like listening to the distorted wet dream of every punk-ish group ever. Beautiful shouting, beautiful crashing. Overall, just beautiful noise. Not the way in which Yo La Tengo is beautiful noise, but an entirely different kind of organized loudness that you can turn way up and enjoy with the windows open on the highway. The songs sound like they are ten minutes old; as if the band waited for the moment when the song was ripe, snatched it off the vine and recorded it before it turned to mush. When I got back I mentioned the album to the person I consider to be my own personal music service, Will Halman. He said something along the lines of "Fuck yeah, The Pixies man!" After a moment of discussion I believe he said something along the lines of "You should listen to Doolittle. It's different, but just as satisfying if not more." He burned it for me and my summer long love affair with The Pixies was underway.
I'm listening to Tom while I'm writing all of this, and it's making me seasick.
The Flaming Lips
I can't seem to remember the exact moment when I was introduced to The Flaming Lips. If any of you would like to claim credit for introducing me to them, please feel free. Regardless, I know that there was a moment when Will Halman and Ben Sweezy and I were sitting around somewhere and they mentioned the Flaming Lips. I said I hadn't heard them and there was an outcry.
haha "Some say he once killed a man with a guitar string." nice Tom Waits.
What I do remember is that I listened to Yoshimi battles the Pink Robots before I listened to Soft Bulletin. I remember this because when I actually talked to Will and Ben about this they said that Soft Bulletin was a better album...but I couldn't see how it could get better than Yoshimi. The Flaming Lips seem to do a balancing act (probably unintentionally) between accessibility and inaccessibility. For example, if you turned on Yoshimi at a party, you probably wouldn't get through the first few tracks without someone saying, "What the hell is this?" Then there would be the inevitable request for you to "turn it down a little" during the second part of Yoshimi's battle (when bass becomes robot growling and treble becomes screaming dissonance). You probably wouldn't get as far as "Do You Realize?" This is unfortunate because "Do You Realize" is the most accessible song on the album and contains one of the moments when The Flaming Lips dive deep into your consciousness and start dancing around. "Instead of saying all of your goodbyes/ let them know you realize that life goes fast/ it's hard to make the good things last/ you realize the sun doesn't go down/ it's just an illusion caused by the world spinning 'round." KEY CHANGEEEE!!!! DOO YOUUU REALIIIIIIZE aaaaahhhhAAAHHHHHahhhhhh Fabulous. After hearing that I didn't believe that Soft Bulletin could be better. Buuuuuuut it is. In Will's words, it's a "boggling masterpiece." To a sound engineer (which I am not by any stretch), it is a stupendous adventure. To the civilian, it is dynamic, sweeping and luminous. There is a wild and twisting entrance of three-part harmony at the beginning of "Buggin'-(Remix)" that made me smile like a fool on the bus the first time I heard it.
..........
Tom is finished. I don't know all of what he's saying yet, so I can only really react on a gut level. Listening to this album I have a constant image of a bottle of hard liquor almost empty and discolored with tobacco backwash next to an ashtray full of wet cigarette butts. The lights are dim, not for atmosphere but because the darkness is less judgemental. The table is marked with aged scrawling from pocket knives and burns from the lighters of bored patrons waiting for Tom to growl them all into a stupor. Splendidly morose.
Time for class!
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
And the Anchorperson on TV goes La dee da de daa
I want winter. Badly. I want it to be cold so that I can wear my stylish heavy blazer(s).
Recently I have become very interested in some of the conspiracy theories that are currently gaining (or have already gained) wide popularity in the video-blogger community.
Stumbleupon.com has been my source for many of these videos (as well as a lot of other entertaining clips). This website does a fairly good job of showing what the liberal extreme is discussing through nothing more than random videos that a user has tagged as "political" in nature.
My favorite conspiracies:
1)
A government geologist by the name of Paul Schneider was videotaped in 1995 giving a lecture in which he reveals some very frightening government secrets. He very casually states that the population at large is only given approximately 5% of the truth while about 95% of what the government is engaged in is secret. He talks about the New World Order and the idea that we have for more than a century been in contact with extraterrestrial beings that have essentially been governing the world into oblivion. His discussion of aliens aside, he also makes some very interesting revelations regarding 131 underground bases in the United States (and by underground I mean a mile below the surface) that are connected by an elaborate system of tunnels. I would not have given these claims my attention at all if the video had not been introduced with a message about how Schneider had been "terminated" very soon after making this video. He also mentions in his lecture that there had been 13 attempts on his life in the months leading up to the video and that they started very soon after he began speaking openly about the work he did for the government.
Here's the video: http://video.stumbleupon.com/#p=kh0xxja4nn Let me know what you think!
2)
There is more and more evidence piling up that we have not gotten the whole truth about 9/11. Now, skeptics of the Iraq War have been saying all along that 9/11 was used as a tactic to get us into the war in Iraq. However, these conspiracy theorists are taking it a step further and saying that the attacks on the WTC and the Pentagon were "inside jobs" perpetrated by the U.S. government.
Their evidence is interesting, whether or not it is credible. They put a lot of focus on the manner in which the buildings fell, saying that their collapse was almost impossibly perfect and resembled a "controlled demolition." They also go into a great deal of detail about the plane that hit the South Tower (that is, the only plane we have reasonable pictures of) and how it has many of the markings of a military plane (specifically, a large protrusion on the underside that is not present on commercial airliners).
I recommend the website http://911scholars.org/ as a good jumping-off point to learn more about this.
HAVING SAID THESE THINGS, however, I want to check myself. There are aspects of these conspiracies that make perfect sense, but it is very hard for me to be objective if you consider that this is EXACTLY what I want to hear.
I don't have much to say about the Schneider lecture. I just thought it was interesting that he was killed so soon after he spoke out. As for 9/11 being an inside job: A part of me REALLY wants to believe that we are living in a country where the government values its people above all other things. However, there is also a part of me that knows that the entity we refer to as "the government" is not in any way trustworthy. It is common knowledge that it is not in the government's best interests to make their full military and scientific capabilities known to the public. Some would say that the people are safer without that knowledge because although individually we have intellect and the capacity to rationalize, collectively we are fickle and frightened.
Why would the government kill its own civilians in order to begin a war? Well, clearly there are lots of reasons why the government would consider 3000 American lives a negligible price to pay for a greater victory. Isn't that the principle that governs war in the first place? The only difference is that the people in the WTC were civilians, not enlisted soldiers.
If we go on the assumption that 9/11 was an inside job, then the parallels that Bush has drawn between himself and FDR become ironically credible. It is often theorized that FDR did not stop the attack on Pearl Harbor when he had the chance because a large-scale war was the only thing that could bring the nation out of The Great Depression. In the process, FDR unified the nation in a way that has not been seen since, creating a powerful patriotism marching against the Nazis (perhaps the only enemy to America since the end of the Civil War that was truly worth fighting).
In 2001, the Bush administration was facing a nation that was staunchly divided on almost every political issue in the wake of one of the most contentious elections in the history of democracy. Al Gore was sent packing with a dual misfortune: He was not only the last credible member of the Clinton administration, but he was to be, and is to this day, the last truly electable candidate to come out of the Democratic Party. A large percentage of the nation was skeptical and a large percentage of the nation was angry. The Bush administration was DESPERATE for something to rally the people. They needed an absolute evil to give the public something to agree on. In addition, they needed a way to justify claiming a share of Iraqi oil and they needed a way to once-and-for-all vindicate themselves for not taking Saddam Hussein out of power in the first Gulf War.
The solution: A terrorist attack on the ultimate symbols of American power. A plane hijacking thousands of feet in the air where there are no witnesses. An explosion of flame in the top third of the tallest buildings in New York City where no one can see from the windows of neighboring buildings. An explosion so big and a collapse so comprehensive that no independent investigation could possibly have been conducted. OH WAIT, we did find one of the terrorists' passports among the STEEL THAT HAD BEEN TURNED TO DUST. Boy, that was lucky that of the millions and millions of sheets of paper that were incinerated in the collapse of 500,000 tons of steel we found a passport condemning a foreigner.
Also, why would Osama Bin Laden have claimed responsibility for the attacks? It seems like a pretty major tactical error if you're a rogue terrorist organization trying to maintain control in an unstable nation to SLAP A POLITICAL GIANT IN THE FACE and then say "this is what I look like, this is why I did it, you are all infidels and should be killed, COME AND GET ME."
I think it is more likely that Osama Bin Laden was paid off to claim responsibility for the attacks and then sell out his subordinates to make it look like we were getting close to him. I'm asking you, reader, do you really think that the United States was incapable of catching Osama Bin Laden? How many people would have had to screw up in succession in our military to let the man who SENT US A VIDEO OF HIMSELF get away? We can see our fucking DOGS playing in our yards from SPACE on Google Earth, but our entire government can't locate Osama Bin Laden? I just don't believe it. It simply isn't true. Osama Bin Laden is sitting somewhere on a beach counting his American dollars and contemplating getting them exchanged for Euros or Chinese yuan.
What I'm saying is that I am willing to believe that the government is responsible for 9/11. My knowledge of history, my political persuasion, my eyes and my ears all seem to be telling me so. The only forces that are telling me otherwise are the press (which could be a) just as much in the dark as I am or b) paid off not to ask questions) and my own sense of decency (which has no place in modern public policy).
IF THERE'S ONE THING I'M SURE OF, IT IS THAT DEMOCRACY IS DRIVEN BY DISSENT AND DOUBT. GET IN THE DRIVER'S SEAT OR BE CONTENT TO LET OTHERS DETERMINE YOUR DESTINATION.
Recently I have become very interested in some of the conspiracy theories that are currently gaining (or have already gained) wide popularity in the video-blogger community.
Stumbleupon.com has been my source for many of these videos (as well as a lot of other entertaining clips). This website does a fairly good job of showing what the liberal extreme is discussing through nothing more than random videos that a user has tagged as "political" in nature.
My favorite conspiracies:
1)
A government geologist by the name of Paul Schneider was videotaped in 1995 giving a lecture in which he reveals some very frightening government secrets. He very casually states that the population at large is only given approximately 5% of the truth while about 95% of what the government is engaged in is secret. He talks about the New World Order and the idea that we have for more than a century been in contact with extraterrestrial beings that have essentially been governing the world into oblivion. His discussion of aliens aside, he also makes some very interesting revelations regarding 131 underground bases in the United States (and by underground I mean a mile below the surface) that are connected by an elaborate system of tunnels. I would not have given these claims my attention at all if the video had not been introduced with a message about how Schneider had been "terminated" very soon after making this video. He also mentions in his lecture that there had been 13 attempts on his life in the months leading up to the video and that they started very soon after he began speaking openly about the work he did for the government.
Here's the video: http://video.stumbleupon.com/#p=kh0xxja4nn Let me know what you think!
2)
There is more and more evidence piling up that we have not gotten the whole truth about 9/11. Now, skeptics of the Iraq War have been saying all along that 9/11 was used as a tactic to get us into the war in Iraq. However, these conspiracy theorists are taking it a step further and saying that the attacks on the WTC and the Pentagon were "inside jobs" perpetrated by the U.S. government.
Their evidence is interesting, whether or not it is credible. They put a lot of focus on the manner in which the buildings fell, saying that their collapse was almost impossibly perfect and resembled a "controlled demolition." They also go into a great deal of detail about the plane that hit the South Tower (that is, the only plane we have reasonable pictures of) and how it has many of the markings of a military plane (specifically, a large protrusion on the underside that is not present on commercial airliners).
I recommend the website http://911scholars.org/ as a good jumping-off point to learn more about this.
HAVING SAID THESE THINGS, however, I want to check myself. There are aspects of these conspiracies that make perfect sense, but it is very hard for me to be objective if you consider that this is EXACTLY what I want to hear.
I don't have much to say about the Schneider lecture. I just thought it was interesting that he was killed so soon after he spoke out. As for 9/11 being an inside job: A part of me REALLY wants to believe that we are living in a country where the government values its people above all other things. However, there is also a part of me that knows that the entity we refer to as "the government" is not in any way trustworthy. It is common knowledge that it is not in the government's best interests to make their full military and scientific capabilities known to the public. Some would say that the people are safer without that knowledge because although individually we have intellect and the capacity to rationalize, collectively we are fickle and frightened.
Why would the government kill its own civilians in order to begin a war? Well, clearly there are lots of reasons why the government would consider 3000 American lives a negligible price to pay for a greater victory. Isn't that the principle that governs war in the first place? The only difference is that the people in the WTC were civilians, not enlisted soldiers.
If we go on the assumption that 9/11 was an inside job, then the parallels that Bush has drawn between himself and FDR become ironically credible. It is often theorized that FDR did not stop the attack on Pearl Harbor when he had the chance because a large-scale war was the only thing that could bring the nation out of The Great Depression. In the process, FDR unified the nation in a way that has not been seen since, creating a powerful patriotism marching against the Nazis (perhaps the only enemy to America since the end of the Civil War that was truly worth fighting).
In 2001, the Bush administration was facing a nation that was staunchly divided on almost every political issue in the wake of one of the most contentious elections in the history of democracy. Al Gore was sent packing with a dual misfortune: He was not only the last credible member of the Clinton administration, but he was to be, and is to this day, the last truly electable candidate to come out of the Democratic Party. A large percentage of the nation was skeptical and a large percentage of the nation was angry. The Bush administration was DESPERATE for something to rally the people. They needed an absolute evil to give the public something to agree on. In addition, they needed a way to justify claiming a share of Iraqi oil and they needed a way to once-and-for-all vindicate themselves for not taking Saddam Hussein out of power in the first Gulf War.
The solution: A terrorist attack on the ultimate symbols of American power. A plane hijacking thousands of feet in the air where there are no witnesses. An explosion of flame in the top third of the tallest buildings in New York City where no one can see from the windows of neighboring buildings. An explosion so big and a collapse so comprehensive that no independent investigation could possibly have been conducted. OH WAIT, we did find one of the terrorists' passports among the STEEL THAT HAD BEEN TURNED TO DUST. Boy, that was lucky that of the millions and millions of sheets of paper that were incinerated in the collapse of 500,000 tons of steel we found a passport condemning a foreigner.
Also, why would Osama Bin Laden have claimed responsibility for the attacks? It seems like a pretty major tactical error if you're a rogue terrorist organization trying to maintain control in an unstable nation to SLAP A POLITICAL GIANT IN THE FACE and then say "this is what I look like, this is why I did it, you are all infidels and should be killed, COME AND GET ME."
I think it is more likely that Osama Bin Laden was paid off to claim responsibility for the attacks and then sell out his subordinates to make it look like we were getting close to him. I'm asking you, reader, do you really think that the United States was incapable of catching Osama Bin Laden? How many people would have had to screw up in succession in our military to let the man who SENT US A VIDEO OF HIMSELF get away? We can see our fucking DOGS playing in our yards from SPACE on Google Earth, but our entire government can't locate Osama Bin Laden? I just don't believe it. It simply isn't true. Osama Bin Laden is sitting somewhere on a beach counting his American dollars and contemplating getting them exchanged for Euros or Chinese yuan.
What I'm saying is that I am willing to believe that the government is responsible for 9/11. My knowledge of history, my political persuasion, my eyes and my ears all seem to be telling me so. The only forces that are telling me otherwise are the press (which could be a) just as much in the dark as I am or b) paid off not to ask questions) and my own sense of decency (which has no place in modern public policy).
IF THERE'S ONE THING I'M SURE OF, IT IS THAT DEMOCRACY IS DRIVEN BY DISSENT AND DOUBT. GET IN THE DRIVER'S SEAT OR BE CONTENT TO LET OTHERS DETERMINE YOUR DESTINATION.
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